i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
