On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
