im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
