i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
