I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Drake has all the answers
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
