halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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