Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
