I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
