And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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