apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
what day is it and did you see me today?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
