My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
