...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I could fuck to npr.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
