Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
