yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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