Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
