love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
