Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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