New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
