that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
