I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
