He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
