Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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