My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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