it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
