Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
do herpes really smell.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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