just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
