i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize