At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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