Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
