you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
