your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the day after is always just damage control
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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