I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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