He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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