am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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