I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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