Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
