i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Rumble strips road head = magical
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
