So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
