Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
