so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
