you win again, gameday.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
