I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
