im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Come on in and take your pants off
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