its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
