Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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