Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
