Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
