Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
