Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
