I don't think brook has ever known best
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
