We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
