I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
