tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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