I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
