If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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