I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
