He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
