speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
